Be honest, what do you make?

Last night in my Lit for Children class, we did a unit on poetry. To wrap up the evening, Dr. Phillips had us watch a segment from HBO's Def Comedy Jam that featured a KSU grad. The poem is as follows:

There is a dinner party and and a guest (a lawyer) says to our poet "Be Honest, Taylor. What do you make?" (We all know that money is the most important thing in the world and those who don't have enough of it are considered second class citizens). Taylor's response was one that gave me a little bit of hope for humanity. He said "What do I make?" and then went on a tirade about how he pushes his students harder than he ever has before and how he makes parents see the potential in their children. Going over a list of what he "makes" is the bulk of the poem, but it was the end that really got to me. "Teachers make a goddamned difference. What about you?" I think you get the general idea.

The world is so wrapped up in a person's salary that they often miss the point of their job. Teachers don't become teachers because they want to take a huge paycheck to the bank. They do it to make a difference in the lives of many and maybe, in the world. I am angry that I live in a society where it is acceptable for a presidential candidate to spend millions of dollars on a campaign, but where teachers (who spend countless hours and an unimaginable amount of money getting their degree) are one of the lowest paid professions. You only make decent money if you go into the country or the ghetto (read: where no one else wants to go).

This is for all the people that get past the lure of a six figure paycheck and decide on a profession that changes humanity. This is for my friend, Nicole, who has the courage and the decency to become a teacher knowing that she will owe more money in loans that she will make in a year. Here's to you for making a goddamned difference in the world.

FOREVERRR

So it has been more than awhile since my last post. I can't decide if that is due to my busy schedule or that nothing 'blog worthy' has happened to me. I will give you a quick overview of what is/what has been going on since classes started.

*I am staying in St. Mary's with Darren's sister, Lisa, and her family. I can honestly say that I am enjoying myself. It is very refreshing to be away from jerks who have no respect for me or my stuff.

*Commuting to class isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Traffic hasn't been a problem and for the most part, neither has parking.

*I am in my last semester at KSU, but it is likely that I'll go back in the Spring to take a class or two. So far classes are going all right, even if I don't like 3/4 of them.

*I need to start applying to Grad School in the next few weeks.

*I recently got a second job at the OZ Museum in Wamego. It is definitely different.

*I am looking forward to going to Nashville, TN in about two weeks (or 10 days!). I didn't get to go anywhere this summer and even though this trip will be short, it will be most enjoyable.

I guess that is really it...I suppose this answers the question above: I haven't blogged because I've had nothing 'blog worthy' to write about. I promise I will try to do better and write at least once a week, even if it has been uneventful. Perhaps I could write a political blog...

It has been so long!

This is my first post in almost two months, mostly because we haven't had Internet. (also I've been spending time with my "awesome, studly" boyfriend)Anyhoo, I have finished numerous books and had a few adventures during this time.

One book that I read was "Blonde" by Joyce Carol Oates--it is the story of Marilyn Monroe, although fictional. It was pretty interesting and made me wonder about her 'real' life. 3 1/2 stars out of 5.

I also read "Make Lemonade" by Virginia Euwer Wolff. It is the first book in a 3 book series ( I read "True Believer" for my Lit for Adolescents class). Not as good as "True Believer" but it gave me more background for the main character, LaVaughn. 3 stars out of 5.

I've also been reading a lot of the books that I've been assigned for my Lit for Children class. So far they aren't bad and I don't think it will be a challenge to work ahead in this class.

Other updates-- I finally broke down and bought a car. A 2001 white VW Jetta. Not bad and I got a pretty good deal on it.

I am seriously looking forward to classes starting in a few days. One thing I'm not looking forward to is driving, but I'll be saving money living with Darren's sister Lisa's family (it's about a 30-45 minute drive from St. Marys to Manhattan). And I won't have to put up with shitty, inconsiderate roommates!!

As usual I'm broke because I've taken time off work to get my stuff together and work has been slow lately. I'm trying to come up with ways to come up with money easily, this is what I have so far:
----Lottery tickets. Scratchers or Powerball, either will work
----pick up cans. I'd have to get a few bags full to make it worth my while, but any money is good money, right?
----selling plasma. I'm going to look into this when I get back to Manhattan. (I can probably make an extra $50-70 a week!)
----Selling my eggs. The downside is the hormone shots I'd have to take:(

Sorry I've rambled for so long, but I've gotten you all nice and caught up! Enjoy. And I promise that I will be more diligent about posting once classes start.

The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx

This was an awesome story, I would recommend it even if you aren't a Mötley Crüe fan because it gives a person some insight into the life of celebrities. Basically the book is a diary that Nikki Sixx kept from December 1986 to December 1987 and it chronicles his personal life, the band, and his drug use. It took me a little while to read this book because it was so intense that often I could only read a few pages at a time. The things this guy did to his body and lived to tell about is amazing, in fact, he has literally died twice and been revived not to mention other countless over doses. What really amazed me was the lack of response his behavior got from people. Most people just laughed off his drug use and paranoid behavior and allowed him to continue his destructive behavior. As I said earlier, it gives some insight into the celebrity world of today. No wonder some people are so screwed up or act like the law doesn't apply to them: when you have people laughing at your actions and doing nothing more than suggesting you go to rehab once a year, it isn't likely that you'll change. So if you're interested in reading something a bit more intense than you're used to, pick up "The Heroin Diaries". 4 out of 5 Stars.

Since finishing Nikki Sixx's diary, I have picked up "Blonde" again. I'm hoping to be done with it within a few weeks. As much as I miss reading when I can't read for fun, I've read so many books so quickly that I'm getting a little burnt out. I'm going to try to go through this one a little more carefully than the others.

Something to think about

With my birthday came thoughts of getting older and what I'm going to do with my life, where I'm going, etc. These are thoughts I'm sure everyone has, no matter what age they are, but I'm at the point where I feel like I should be doing more with my life. I'm actually beginning to think about my future and where I'd like to be in the next 5-10 years and since I'm graduating in December, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Planning ahead is no longer a pipe dream. Anyway, I'm telling you all of this because it seems to me that I am living in a world where in an instant, I could be gone. And so could you. I got an email from a friend the other day telling me that a former co-worker had committed suicide earlier in the week. She was MY AGE. She had had a rough go of it the last year or so and I'm sure she felt this was the only thing she could do to make things better. My friend is not the only person to pass away suddenly, Tim Russert died just a few weeks ago and George Carlin only recently (not that I knew these people personally, but I think you get my point). I feel like I wake up everyday and someone else has passed away and this has forced me to take stock in my own life. As I said earlier, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've decided that I'm going to take a page from Mr. Keeting's book and "Seize the day" (for any of you who don't know, that is a "Dead Poet's Society" reference. You should go watch it, it's a little slow at first but the end is good). Wish me luck!

ps-A Summer Reading List note: I have put down "Blonde" for now and am reading "The Heroin Diaries" a diary that Nikki Sixx (of Mötley Crüe) kept from 1986-87 while he was a severe heroin and coke addict. Pretty interesting read so far, I'd recommend it even if you aren't a fan of that kind of music. I'm almost through with it, so I'll head back to "Blonde" when I'm done. Darren also bought me "Son of a Witch" by Gregory Maguire. It is the sequel to "Wicked".

Oh Johnson County, I loathe thee

This post is in honor of Amanda's post about things that annoyed her in one hour. Mine is a little different because It's a post about how much I am annoyed by JOCO and it's pretty much an on going process, not just an hour.

1. Darren and I don't mow our lawn much (on average once every two weeks--usually longer), so you'd think when we finally got around to it that the neighbors wouldn't come over and criticize...you'd be wrong. "Could you please not cut your grass so short? It just kills it." Um, maybe that was my plan so I don't have to EVER MOW AGAIN.

2. Same Person--"Do you mind if I mow your side yard when I do mine? My wife and I are trying to sell our house and it just looks better if it's all uniform." Of course I don't mind if you mow my side yard, however that doesn't mean I'm going to mow my other side yard or front yard any more frequently...not to mention chop down the forest that is growing in the middle of the front yard (damn stump causes weeds to grow 10 feet high!). Good luck selling your house, though!

3. The night of my birthday party Darren called me over to the front window...do you know what I spied with my little eye when I got there?? A horde of neighbors standing in a yard a few houses down pointing at all the cars parked ON THE PUBLIC STREET! Jesus people, get a life!

4. Mothers in JOCO who don't have to work and have nothing better to do than go to the gym or make more babies and then go to "Baby and Me" classes. Enough said.

5. People in the JO who work all week and then get up early on Sunday to do yard work or vacuum their cars. Of course Sunday is the one day I get to sleep in after working two doubles in a row.

6. Wal*Mart. I don't really think this is only a JOCO thing, but when I go into Wal*Mart on the KCK side, at least I know what I'm getting in to. It really annoys me when people saunter in with their Vision card to pay for food for their ragamuffins and then pay cash for their smokes and booze (did I mention I usually go to the Olathe Wal*Mart? How can people afford to be on welfare and live in Olathe??)

7. JOCO Mothers who drive huge SUVs but can't really 'drive' them. What makes you think that you can drive a huge vehicle that you can't control and endanger me in my tiny car? Jackass.

8. See above--It also annoys me that you drive a car that gets 4mpg which causes gas prices to go up because you'll pay any price for gas, even $7 a gallon. Thanks for screwing over the poor man.

I'm going to wrap this up because Darren is wondering how much longer I'll be, but rest assured that my list of complaints is much longer than this. I, like Amanda, hate living with/near stupid people.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I finished this book at about 1am today and cried reading the last 15 or so pages. A quick overview of the novel is that it is about a young girl, Liesel, who goes to live with a foster family in Germany just before the outbreak of war. When she arrives, Liesel cannot read so her foster father teaches her how to read. They begin by reading a book that Liesel 'stole' from her brother's grave site; once she finishes this novel, Liesel begins to steal books from other places, befriending different people along the way. The narrator of the story is Death, which kept me on my toes since he kept saying things like "it would be a sad day when Rudy died, but that day wasn't today." This book is totally different than any other piece of Holocaust Lit that I have ever encountered. Even though it was 550 pages, it seemed much shorter and when I finished, I was left wanting more. 5 out of 5 stars.

My next Summer Read is "Blonde" by Joyce Carol Oates. "Blonde" is the story of Marilyn Monroe in her words; even though it is based on Marilyn's life, it is a work of fiction.

The Joys of Summer

I'm in my third week of summer vacation which thus far has been enjoyable. I've mostly been working but also hanging out with Darren and other friends as well as getting caught up on housework. However, I often think about the "good old days." You know what I mean, remember when you were young enough that you didn't have to worry about anything besides what you were going to be doing that day or what was going to be on TV that day? God, those were great times. I didn't have to worry about paying bills or making phone calls or whether or not asshole roommates paid rent.My impending birthday also reminds me of my age...not that I don't love a birthday, but turning 23 makes me feel so old and all I want to do is sleep til noon and then go outside and play kickball...but alas, I have to go to bed soon so I can go to work in the morning and fight traffic...*sigh* I think I'm going to go enjoy one of those awesome Icee pops...blue perhaps.

Update: I'm over halfway through The Book Thief and it is awesome!

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

I was told about this book in my Lit for Adolescents earlier this year. I assumed that it was a newer book, mostly because I had seen it before but hadn't realized that it was actually published in 1999. The novel is about a young man named "Charlie" who writes letters to someone he calls "friend". I really enjoyed to format of the novel, the letters and it was divided into 4 parts. I also liked that Charlie references different music and books throughout his story; often the music and books tie into what is going on in his life when he is writing. It made me smile every time he mentioned making a "mix tape" for his friends...and then I remembered that his story takes place in 1991. With all of that said, I didn't enjoy this book as much as I thought I would. I just didn't feel like the book went anywhere and it was a little cryptic towards the end ('Catcher in the Rye' anyone?) It wasn't a bad book and I'm sure that many readers could identify with what is going on in Charlie's life: family issues, drug use, school pressures, unrequited love, etc. Overall 3 out of 5 stars.

Since I finished this book almost a week ago, I am proud to announce that I have started reading my 3rd book of the summer! "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak. Even though it is along the lines of 600 pages, I hope to give my next review before my birthday (less than 2 weeks!). Until then, Happy Reading!

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed by Alan Alda

I have officially finished the first book on my summer reading list! I completed "Never Have Your Dog Stuffed" by Alan Alda at the Royals game on Tuesday. I was actually surprised by this book, not because I didn't think it would be good but because I thought it would focus more on his M*A*S*H days. The book was about his entire career and his family, it didn't focus on M*A*S*H nearly as much, but did go into detail about the cast and how the world reacted to the series. I loved the end of the book where Alda talked about being asked to speak at graduations: "Mr. Alda do you think you could bless our students with some wise words?" or something to that effect. His response "For the love of God, don't ever have your dog stuffed!" While this may sound funny, it's actually sage advice. I really enjoyed this book and I'm really looking forward to reading the other Alda memoir. I'm normally not a fan of biographies/memoirs/autobiographies, but this one was very well written and wasn't dry. Over all 4 out of 5 stars.

You know you're getting old when..

buying a vacuum makes you giggle and spending an entire Thursday night vacuuming your house is the highlight of your week and you can't wait to call people to tell them about your new vacuum. Yep, this was me last week. I finally went out and bought us a new vacuum and spent about 4 hours vacuuming...which isn't really that long considering our house had not been vacuumed since March. Honestly, looking at all the crap that was coming out of the carpet made me want to vomit...I had to empty the canister about 10 times and when I washed the filter out it was caked with dust/dirt. I'm sure you're bored with my blog about vacuuming by now, but it was very exciting for me, even if it does make me feel old!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for granting me the self control to not kill people who are stupid and annoying. Even though it would be a service to the community if I rid the world of these people, thank you for showing me that a life in prison is not for me. I appreciate the fact that you have blessed me with a superior intelligence, but sometimes I wonder if it is a blessing, because it allows me to judge others ruthlessly and quickly become annoyed at whatever it is that they have to say. Perhaps this is my curse and my test is to see if I can actually survive and not kill anyone. Maybe when I meet the Gate Keeper, I can proudly say that I lived my life and did not murder anyone (even though they probably deserved it--of course this part will be mumbled under my breath). Once inside, I'm sure we'll have a jolly laugh at my expense because my entire existence will have been nothing but a source of amusement for you. Of course, we'll share these laughs over a cold beer while we watch others struggle to maintain composure when accosted by stupidity. So once again, thank you. I'd hate to spend my later years in jail because I couldn't control myself.
Sincerely,
Zero to Nuclear in 2.5 seconds (but with enough self control to allow you to leave alive!)

lame? most likely

It is almost midnight on a Friday night and I am ready for bed. What could be more lame than that? How about sitting at home writing a paper on a Friday night? Or rewarding yourself for finishing said paper with a trip to Target (I bought Juno, which was fantastic!) and then Baskin Robbins for ice cream? Yep, as you've already guessed, this was my Friday night. And now I'm off to bed...I'm also resisting the urge to tell the guys up stairs to keep it down...

Summer Reading List

I have always been an avid reader, but with my class schedule and homework load, reading is the last thing I've had time or want for lately. *sad face* I miss reading for fun and not being able to wait until the end to find out what happens; I'm tired of reading a book so quickly that I don't really know what happened or reading books that I don't really like. So, I have made it my goal to complete a list that I compile of "summer reading". I would like to average one book every two weeks, which means I could read about 7-8 books! How exciting!!! 8 books of my choosing...I am going to put a huge list on here and check them off as I read them.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed-Alan Alda
Make Lemonade-Virginia Euwer Wolff
The Perks of Being a Wallflower-Stephen Chbosky
The Years of Extermination: Nazi Germany and the Jews 1939-45-Saul Friedlander
The Memory Keeper's Daughter-Kim Edwards
Their Eyes Were Watching God-Zora Neal Hurston
Fallen Angels-Walter Dean Myers
Shooter-Walter Dean Myers
The Awakening-Kate Chopin
Various books/short stories by Willa Cather

I'm sure I'll add more as I come across them or as people recommend them to me. I think I'll make it a point to write a review after I finish each one too.

Butterflies

Have you ever met someone that made you feel like you had butterflies in your stomach? Every time they say something the butterflies flutter around a little more and you get this feeling of elation. I had that feeling today. I went over to my mom's house this morning and while I was sitting on the couch, my favorite person in the entire world bounded up the stairs and came bursting through the garage door. She jumped up on the couch next to me and spoke the most heartfelt words I have heard in a long time "I miss you, Ashey". I pulled her into my arms and gave her a big hug and a kiss and told her that I missed her too. It doesn't matter what I have going on or how crappy my day is, seeing her or talking to her makes me smile. I often think that people (especially myself) get too caught up in the world around them and easily forget the things that are most important. I am often overwhelmed by my homework load or by the amount of hours I have to work in order to cover my bills and forget to take the time to spend time with my family or do things for myself. It is my new goal to take the time to enjoy the beauty in life. I want to remember for the rest of my life how I felt today watching that curly haired little girl with the beautiful blue eyes bounce into my lap and change my entire outlook on life. I hope that everyone can experience something as fantastic as what I experienced today.

If you don't like it, DON'T READ IT!

One of my favorite blogs is the L&D blog that I found through Amanda's site. I can't control my laughter every time I read a post; some of the people she writes about do some of the most ignorant things that people do. It is not malicious in any way, as much as some people would love to think so. There is nothing wrong with this nurse blogging about her job; everyone has to vent or they'll explode. There are some people who think that this blogger is being malicious and is making fun of women who are pregnant. This is not so, she is merely sharing funny stories that she has to deal with on a daily basis. The lovely thing about a blog is that it is optional to read, you don't have to if you don't want to. My point? If you don't like what someone says, DON'T READ IT!

Another one of my favorites is Jon and Kate Plus Eight. I don't know what it is about this family, but I just love them. The kids are some of the most adorable I have seen in a long while and Jon and Kate crack me up. There are some critics out there who think that the kids are brats. I defend this by saying two things: 1. All kids are brats and 2. you'd be a brat too if you were fighting with 7 other people for the affection of your parents. The kids aren't brats, they're children. Other critics say Kate is a bitch or she's mean to Jon. I defend this by saying: the producers of the show tailor things to look a certain way; we don't know the context of much that goes on. Also, you might be a little bitchy too if you stayed home all day with 8 kids; I don't care who you are, that would wear on anyone's nerves. My point here? If all you are going to do is criticize the show, don't waste your time watching it!

This is the glory of the United States: If you don't like something you aren't forced to watch or listen. You can shut off the TV or turn off the computer or shut the book. So next time something crosses your path that you don't like, shut up about it. No one cares if you don't like it because chances are, they do enjoy it and don't want you raining on their parade. That is all.

Pet Peeves Part Deux!

Many of you know that I started a new job recently. So far I really enjoy it, mostly it's the people not the actual job, but that's ok. That said, there are many things about the job that irritate me, here is a list:

1. Bartenders
Just because you can pour a drink doesn't make you better than me, so stop acting like you're some sort of gift from God.

2. Tip Out
I understand that I have to tip out bartenders/bussers/food runners, but when they don't really do anything for me why should I tip them out the full amount? When I or other servers deliver all of my food, shouldn't that mean I don't have to tip the food runner out less? And when the bussers barely wipe my tables off why should I tip them out $12 when I only made $60?

3. Being Cut
Rule of thumb, doubles get cut first. It doesn't matter if someone only has one table, when they got there at 4pm they do not deserve to be cut before the person who has been there since 10am.

4. People who "skate" on side work
No one wants to do side work or roll silverware, but it has to be done. So it really pisses me off when certain people always try to get away with doing little to no side work. Just do it so some people don't get stuck there til 4am.

5. The Good Ol' Front of House vs. Back of House Rivalry
At every restaurant job I've had, there is conflict between servers and kitchen staff. It seems to be worse here and I think it is due in part to the abundance of assholes on the Expo line.

6. Slackers
Most irritating of all are the people who constantly come in late and do a piss poor job while the rest of us get there on time and bust our asses. I am tired of cleaning up after people who obviously can't do the job.

This concludes my list of GB pet peeves, although I'm sure it is one that will be updated quite frequently.

First Week Back

It is my first week back after Spring Break and it hasn't been as terrible as I had anticipated. I'm keeping up with my work and even trying to work ahead on some things, which is good considering what my April looks like. I did my calender for April last night and it looks a little scary. 3 papers, 2 portfolios for German, 2 tests in German, 2 annotations due for my Annotated Bibliography. Not to mention the amount of reading I have to do for daily class work. I just keep telling myself "Only 6 more weeks!" It's actually almost 5 now since I just have one class today and class tomorrow. In other good news, I heard back from my case manager for BBBS! I need to call her either today or tomorrow to talk to her one on one. I am very excited about it, I can't wait to be a Big Sister!

Spring Break is Nearly Over

and I haven't accomplished much on my ever growing list...maybe today will be different though, I don't have much going on. So far on this lovely break, I have seen old friends, read one of the three books that I needed to read, and tackled the extra large pile of laundry. Still on my list? Dinner with Michelle, orientation for BBBS, take Taylor and Mariah to Horton Hears A Who, homework, and clean up the house. I'm working literally all weekend, so I doubt my monstrous list will actually be completed, but I'm going to give it a try. In fact, I'm headed off to begin my list! Hopefully next time I'll have lots to talk about!

***Since posting this earlier today I have checked numerous things off of my list***
-Walk Chester
-Sweep poop from deck
-empty cooler of soda cans/water/soda left over from Christmas party
-laundry
-went to BBBS orientation
-getting ready to have dinner with Michelle
-completed reading for ENGL 385, well on my way to 'being ahead'

Spring Break is Finally Here!

And with it, shitty news. As many of you know, exactly one month ago today my mom had to put Dory to sleep because of kidney failure. I got a call early this morning that she had to take Gus (the dog I adopted for Kasie in September) to Mission Med Vet because he couldn't breathe. After being treated like crap by the staff there because she couldn't pay their fees, she took him to our family vet. I'm not even kidding, when she told them that she couldn't pay they told her "you're more than welcome to take him to your own vet, but he won't receive the best care like he would here". Apparently something in his chest ruptured causing his chest to fill with air which collapsed one of his lungs. The only thing that could have been done was surgery and they would have had to break his lungs and cut him open in order to fix the problem. Long story short, she ended up having him put to sleep.

Hopefully the rest of my break will be better....much better.

Dear Stupid Girl,

You are the kind of person that makes me sad to be a female. Why? Because you date douche bags that treat you like shit and then you forgive them because they cry or are going to therapy. News Flash! Telling you that you are fat or look like shit is VERBAL ABUSE. So is telling you that you owe it to them to have sex because they gave you gas money. Using sex as a tool is not a sign of a healthy relationship (unless you're holding out so they'll vote Democrat). Just because they don't physically hit you doesn't mean you aren't in an abusive relationship. Stop and listen to yourself some time. Do you hear what you are saying? "He didn't mean it" "He apologized" "You don't really know him" These are the excuses of a girl who is in an abusive relationship. When you lie to your friends and family--people who really CARE about YOU--in order to spend time with the DB, you are only hurting yourself. When this guy breaks your heart or worse, your family might not be there to listen. Maybe you should think about who really has your best interests in mind the next time you sneak out to meet this person or defend their previous actions.

Sincerely,
Sick and Tired of Watching You Be Stupid

I'm not angry, just honest

I went to a poetry reading last week and the poet, Chrystos, wrote a poem about being angry at all of the injustice in the world and how most people will just sit around and bitch but not really do anything. She said that after the poem was released someone asked her why she was so angry. Her response? "I'm not angry, just honest". Damn! I just wanted to run up and give her a high 5! I hate that people say I'm negative and angry, I don't see it that way. I consider myself to be honest when I see injustice. When I see it I point it out. On second thought, I am angry. Angry that there are kids who don't have enough to eat and I worry about having too much. Angry because I wonder if I'll be able to go shopping with my tax refund while there are women and children being physically abused in their homes right now. I'm pissed that my government wants to take more money from my hard earned paycheck for taxes...but don't really tell me what said taxes pay...It makes me angry that the government officials are the ones running around in $60,000 cars and can afford to pay the outrageous gas prices. To all those who say I'm angry, you are correct...maybe the problem isn't that I'm angry, but that you aren't angry enough.

Damn Daylight Savings!

and Disney 'Enhanced' DVDs. As we speak, I cannot get the freaking DVD to work, if you push menu it takes you all the way back to the beginning and keeps reverting back to the menu. Grrr! to technology! Anyway, sorry it's been so long since my last post, I've been super busy between keeping up with school work and training. I'm very glad to be done with training and over the midterm hump at school, so my Spring Break should be mildly relaxing (hopefully!). Since I am known for my rants, I figure I won't mess with success, so here goes.

I had lunch with my family today and lets just say I left more than a little irritated. I don't know why I let myself get so easily annoyed, but it's like I walk in and they just start pushing my buttons. It isn't like they're trying to annoy me, it's just some of the things that they say. Today for instance began with 'Kevin Bashing'. I am not a Kevin fan, but I also don't feel the need to bash his every action. He isn't exactly the kind of person that I envisioned my sister spending the rest of her life with (or so she says, only time will tell), however, she could have ended up with someone a lot worse. My point being, he's been around for 3 years and it doesn't look like he's going anywhere anytime soon so just learn to live with it.

I also wonder where my family picked up all of its freeloaders. I wasn't raised to think that everything was going to be handed to me, so I often wonder why my sister and various cousins think it is ok to take from others and give nothing in return. What makes them think it is ok to spend all of their money on crap and not give any money to the people they live with. *Sigh* Where in the hell do these people come from?!

Food for thought

I've done a lot of driving the last couple of days and it has given me a lot of time to think and observe others. These are just a few things I have pondered and/or seen over the last few days:

-Have you ever noticed that it is often those who have either the 'Jesus Fish' or a 'Support the Troops' magnet on their car that drive like shit. It makes me wonder if those people think these items have some sort of power. Perhaps if God looks down on them from above and sees that them cutting in and out of traffic while speeding, he will take mercy on their souls because of the almighty 'Jesus Fish'. WTH, it's a piece of plastic, not a "Get Out of Dying Free Card". I'm glad that the support our troops, but maybe you would be doing a world of service if you didn't endanger the lives of said troops families. Just a thought.

-The name 'Ashley' has become synonymous with Bitch. I mean really, there are books out about cliques with only girls named 'Ashley'. In fact, on Disney's Recess the group of popular, snobby girls were 'The Ashley's'. It just kind of makes me wonder if everyone who has been blessed (or not?) with the moniker 'Ashley' is destined to become a huge bitch. That said, at least my mom didn't name me something really stupid (I'll leave you to decide what a 'stupid' name is).

-Have you ever noticed that in History classes, we learn about either the glorified person or the horrible monster. Take Andrew Jackson. He is considered by many to have been a fantastic president who did a lot to help create a working democracy and his house in Nashville is a hot spot for tourism. However, I am a senior in college and I just this semester learned about the Trail of Tears. I say just now because previously I had only heard of it by name and only knew that it had to do with Indians. I had no idea the lengths that Jackson went to remove the Indians from their land. It makes me wonder what else those lovely textbooks either kept from me or sugar coated for me.

These are just some things that I've pondered over the last few days. I'm sure there will be more seeing that I have lots more driving to do over the next weeks.

Things that really PISS ME OFF

This isn't just another 'Grind my Gears' segment; this one really pisses me off. Last night I was driving home and it was raining buckets. Seriously, I couldn't see my lines and I kept hitting standing water and sliding around. One might think that in weather like this, you might drive CAUTIOUSLY. Apparently not. I might be a little paranoid because of the car I'm driving and it not having the greatest tires, but when it is precipitating, I drive SLOWLY. It really pisses me off when people fly around me splashing rain or snow onto my windshield making it difficult for me to see. Just because you have a big truck or 4-wheel drive does not mean you don't need to drive cautiously, that 4-wheel drive isn't going to save you when you're rolling down a hill. Even more annoying are the people who are driving small cars who just whip around you without a care in the world. You are in a tiny car, what is going to save you from sliding off the road? NOTHING. As far as I'm concerned, God is doing us no favors when people who drive like this don't die in a fiery crash. They make it perilous for the rest of us who do try to drive carefully and I'm tired of wondering how much damage is going to be done to my car if I do get into a wreck because some people are assholes. If I had a gun, I would be tempted to shoot most of these people, but between them and the losers at Wal-Mart, I'd be spending a lot of money on bullets....maybe I could get a discount for doing a service to the community...

Pet Peeves!

Anyone who knows me knows this is one of my biggest pet peeves. BIGGEST! I love, love, love animals (did I mention that I love them?) HOWEVER, please do not go out and adopt an animal that you cannot take care of. And just to clarify, 'taking care' of an animal extends beyond making sure said animal has half a cup of dog food everyday and that you take them outside at least once a day. Anyone with half a brain knows that animals need more than that. So, if you even doubt for one second that you don't have the time or know how to take care of a pet, DON'T ADOPT ONE!

While we're on the topic of pets, it irritates me to no end when people PAY for an animal! There are thousands of unwanted pets that are being euthanized because of the overflow in animal shelters, so by all means, go pay for a dog or a cat instead of adopting one that is possibly on the brink of death. I will never buy a cat or a dog from a pet store or breeder; I would rather feel like I am doing something for the greater good by saving an animal from the shelter. You should too; it does wonders for the soul.

paying for service and not getting said service

Now we all knew that great mood wasn't going to last, but this is something that seriously annoys me. When you pay for a service and you don't actually get it. For example, Darren pays a ton of money for cable/internet and as of Wednesday, about 4 channels were working. When he called Comcast* they said they wouldn't be able to get anyone out to the house until.....WEDNESDAY of NEXT week. Now seriously, when I'm paying you $150 a month, it would be nice to be able to watch TV. They said they would credit our account for the days our cable wasn't working properly. My idea of a proper credit?? NOT HAVING TO PAY A BILL FOR A SERVICE THAT I DIDN'T RECEIVE!!!! As far as I'm concerned, I have not received my service since my cable doesn't work.

Another example, landlords. This is a prime example of paying for a service that is not received. You might be saying, "don't you have a place to live? A roof over your head??" The answer is yes, BUT when something goes wrong in my house/apartment I expect for it to be FIXED in a TIMELY fashion! How hard is it to come put weather stripping on the door or fix an outlet? The house I lived in last year was 10 times worse than what I'm living in now, but it still has its share of problems. Bottom line: I'm paying rent, make sure that my apartment isn't going to fall down around my ears while I'm asleep!

And finally....Drum roll, please....Restaurants! This one seems obvious and maybe I just have high standards, but I am tired of going out to eat and getting shitty service. Sometimes I think that I have high standards for a server, which I probably do, but a server knows when they're giving shitty service, so don't act all offended or pissed off when you get a tip to match your service. Something that is often forgotten by servers: your tip is a reflection of your service! Just because the person's bill is $50, doesn't mean you automatically earned a $10 tip because you got them drinks and placed food in front of them. Going that extra mile earns you that 20% tip. Don't expect it if you haven't EARNED it. Now I know that there are times when I give shitty service. The difference is that when I give shitty service I KNOW it! and I don't expect a 20% tip!

I think that this shall conclude my "paying for a service and not getting it" segment. I would also like to say though that I am not a fan of people who get a service and then don't pay for it! When you take advantage of someone, you ruin it for everyone else! Both of these are two pet peeves of mine, just so you know!

Suprise!

I am actually in a really good mood considering I haven't had any decent amount of sleep this week and I have a ton of homework with job training looming over my head! I've got so much stuff to do this weekend, but I have faith that I will get it all done and that I will actually do well. I talked with both of my professors that I have to turn papers in for next week, I feel much better about both and am actually kind of excited to see what I can get out of my topics. I'm also feeling pretty good about German. I'm not doing the greatest, but I'm actually pretty far from failing, which is my greatest fear. I've also got a presentation due next week which I think will go pretty well, we've got some good ideas. Perhaps the reason for my good mood is the fact that I spent a lovely evening in Topeka with Darren last night. He left for Baltimore today and I'm starting work this weekend, so there is a good chance we won't have any 'quality' time for a couple of weeks. It was just too bad that we only had 2 hours:( Another reason for these unexplained feelings might be the fact that I haven't spent much time at my apartment in the last two weeks. I just don't give a damn about them or the apartment anymore. The ability to ignore everything has really helped to control my anxiety. There hasn't been anything that has really annoyed me in about a week! I'm sure this feeling of unannoyance will not last long, but it is nice for right now! Actually, this feeling is kind of foreign to me...The more I think about it the less I know how to feel about it...hmmm. Oh, I had to clean out the washer before I could use it because someone decided to put a dog urine soaked towel in there and not run it (I say someone, but only one person here has a dog...wonder who it could have been). Whew! I was getting worried for a second that I had lost my ability to recognize things that annoy me!

Concert Ettiquette

As you may or may not know, I was fortunate enough to see Matchbox Twenty last night. The concert was freaking AWESOME! Totally worth having to go with no sleep and being behind on homework. That said, I noticed some things last night that I thought I'd take a moment to draw attention to. I'm sure that most of this will not apply to anyone reading this, but maybe next time you're out on the town and you see some of this behavior, you'll know you aren't the only who is thinking "Wow. What a dumbass."

1. Drinking.
I should think this goes without saying, but seriously, you should not be drunk (so wasted you can't stand up) at a concert. Not only are you a danger to yourself, you are a danger to me. Don't get me wrong here, I'm all for going out and having a good time (even if that good time does include getting so drunk you don't remember who you are). HOWEVER, there is a time and a place for drinking like that and the Sprint Center at a concert isn't the time or the place.

2. Actions after drinking.
When you are so drunk you can't stand/walk/move, you should probably call it quits...not muster the last of your energy to walk to the beer line. This said, when you are on your way back to your seat after buying said beer, do not become belligerent when the usher has to escort you out...before the main act even comes on stage. While you are funny to watch, I paid good money to watch a band and you are distracting me. Please Leave!

3. Talking on your cell phone.
Once again, I would think that this goes without saying, but apparently not. DO NOT USE YOUR CELL PHONE AT A CONCERT! I don't care if it is intermission and nothing is going on, do not call your friend/family member who is on the other side of the arena and proceed to 'find' them. "WAVE YOUR ARMS!!" "I'M WAVING MY DRINK!!" Um, drinks are expensive so you really shouldn't be waving them around...and if you spill it on me you'll have to remove that plastic cup from your ass, which is where I will be placing it after I clean myself off.

4. This one is specifically aimed at those people who take the two drinks per person minimum to heart.
Just because you CAN have two drinks, doesn't mean you (one person) need TWO. Honestly, I could care less that you bought two drinks, but don't spill them on me because you are already too drunk to walk.

5. Getting up and down.
Honestly!!! There isn't much room for people to sit let alone walk through the aisles, so while I don't mind getting up for you once or twice in a 4 hour period...every 15 minutes (literally) is a bit too much for me. When you get up to buy that precious $6 beer, maybe you should use the restroom or buy that hotdog. Also, anyone who drinks knows that when you drink it makes you have to pee more frequently...so maybe you should plan ahead and NOT DRINK SO MUCH!

6. Dancing.
Where do I begin? Perhaps with a story (or two). Here is an instance when it is alright to dance/gyrate/wave your arms/whatever it is that you do: There was a boy in front of us who was about 8 years old. This kid was having the time of his life. He didn't sit down once the main act came on for at least 45 minutes and he waved his arms in the air and sang along the entire time. It was so cute that I couldn't help but watch with a sense of awe. I only wish that I could have that much uninhibited fun. Now for story two: You are a drunk woman wearing a shirt that is too tight standing up SCREAMING the WRONG lyrics so everyone can hear you over the BAND. Sit down. You can't dance. Do not drink any more beer. You are officially cut off. See the difference? 8 year old boy having the time of his life pumping his fist in the air vs. overweight woman spilling beer all over while screaming the wrong lyrics...I'll let you decide which you'd rather see.

7. Making your kids go to a concert they clearly have no interest in seeing.
How do I know they don't care? Because for the entire 4 hours we are there they are texting friends on their phone telling them that they DON'T WANT TO BE THERE! Why do parents waste money on this kind of thing when their kids don't want to go? Hire a sitter and enjoy yourself instead of yelling at your kid the whole night to "pay attention" or you "paid good money for these tickets so you better enjoy it!" Leave the drama at home.

8. Proper attire.
Where in the hell are Clinton and Stacy when you need them?! Ladies, I know we all just want to look our cutest when we're going out, but you might want to rethink that super tight spandex halter top with the super low rise jeans and thong. No body wants to see that (for anyone who knows me, insert irony here, but I don't do it on purpose). Guys, I think the guy I watched on MSNBC "Lock Up" last night said it best, "When you wear your pants all saggy like that we think it's sexy...and you are making yourself an easy target. I like booty." Think about that the next time you pull those pants down below the 'equator'.

If everyone could just adhere to these simple rules, concerts would be much more enjoyable for all. Remember, if your parents would be embarrassed to see you do it or wear it, leave it at home. And if that's your drunk ass mother leaning on you in the beer line, jump off a cliff because you're a lost cause.

What's in a book?

Ever since I can remember, reading has been one of my favorite things to do. Sadly, I feel like the older I get the harder it is for me to sit down and enjoy reading for pleasure...even if it's just for a few minutes. I have found that I just don't have time to read for fun after reading for class; often reading for class drains me and the last thing I want to do is read..sigh. This semester I have been lucky, most of my reading is fun and stuff I have already read and therefore, enjoy. However, I do not enjoy reading a book that I loved previously and ripping it to pieces...what does this mean...what is the author doing here...what's the message...does this person grow/change? How? I think you get the point. I understand that the point of the class is to totally tear the book apart, but honestly, it just ruins it for me and makes it difficult to ever read the book again. I just can't enjoy it.

When a book is made into a movie, I try really hard to read the book before I see the movie...I still haven't seen 'Charlie Wilson's War', which I began reading over Christmas Break, but haven't had a chance to finish. Nicole and I want to see 'The Other Boleyn Girl', but want to read the novel first. I guess this means I won't be seeing this movie until June. I often wish I had more time to read for fun, but alas, I don't see this happening any time soon....Hopefully this summer will bring time and books, though!

Lawrence sucks and this is why...

I'm not kidding folks, going through Lawrence is seriously the worst part of my drive. And of course tonight was no different. As I got off the highway (which was totally clear of ice and snow), I was accosted by snow packed roads. Of course this is irritating in any situation, but more so tonight. First of all, it had stopped snowing sometime before, this much was obvious. How do I know this? Because the road was clear where cars had been driving (more on that later)and workers were out clearing PARKING LOTS. At least we know where their priorities are at. Even more irritating than the shitty roads were the lights that changed for no reason. I mean really! Take some money and put them on sensors instead of timers! After I stop at 2 lights for no reason, I'm finally on my way. As I'm driving I am trying to stay in the tracks left by those before me...I had to ask myself WTF as I not once, but twice, noticed I was straddling the double yellow line (remember, this isn't me but the tracks I am following). Apparently people in Lawrence can't drive either...I am finally on my way out of town when suddenly, A MIRACLE!!!! It only snowed in Lawrence! Both I-70 and K-10 were clear. Hmmmm...Makes you wonder doesn't it? Perhaps Lawrence should take some of that money that they use to buy the basketball players and use it to employ people to clean the streets. That is all.

Grinding of the gears

It is time for another segment of "You know what really grinds my gears?!". Today's segment is in honor of things that are supposed to 'speed up' my life. For instance: Have you ever noticed that when you are in a hurry and go through a drive thru somewhere it seems to take you 20 minutes longer than if you would have parked your car and walked into the establishment.

What about the express lane? Without a doubt if I were to go through the express lane or self check out, I will encounter a proble. I'm not kidding, these features suck, they don't help me they only make me have to spend more in the store. Not only do these features seem to take longer, but if you encounter a problem, you have to wait for some lacky to come over an press a button to enable you to continue. Again, would have been faster to wait in a regular line.

Fast food. Good in theory, bad in practice. They should rename it "Fat Food". Don't get me wrong, it's nice to run through the drive thru (although I use run loosly--see first comment), but after word I feel like a huge ball of crap for eating nasty, pre-made( I don't buy that fresh when you order it crap--since when does it take 1 minute to make a cheeseburger, even if it is only 1/16 of an inch thick) that is loaded with calories that go straight to my ass.

Construction. I know you're asking "what the hell, construction doesn't speed your life up", but the point is that after all is said and done, it should make things go faster. For instance when they expand a 4 lane highway to 6 lanes to accomodate more cars. Yet another thing that is good in theory, but bad in practice. Yes, this new 6 lane highway will shave 12 minutes off my drive each morning, but for the 4 years it takes them to build it, I have to leave my house 45 minutes early because of traffic and detours. Thanks, State of Kansas, for making my life better (insert eye roll).

Microwaves. I love them, however I hate that when you microwave food it gets all soggy and tastes strange. These actually do make lives better, mostly because it doesn't take 10 minutes for them to warm up, but I'm afraid of the after affects of standing in front of the microwave while waiting for my TV dinner. I'm going to be pretty pissed if I'm barren because of the micro-waves or whatever.

This concludes today's Grind my Gears. Thank you for reading.

What word defines your life?

If I had to pick one word that I believed summed up my life, it would be 'Rush'. I feel like all I ever do is rush. I'm either rushing to class or rushing to finish homework that is due in a few hours. Rushing to drive home, rushing to get back to Manhattan for class, rushing to work. I think you get the point. I hope that at some point, life will slow down, but I don't think it will. I remember being told when I was younger that the older I got the faster time would fly. Whoever told me this was 100% correct. It seems like just yesterday I was graduating from High School and then starting classes at KCKCC. Now I'm about to graduate from KSU and start Grad School. Wow. I know that my life will not slow down anytime soon, but it's nice to dream isn't it? So, if I had to define my life with one word, I would use Rush. I rather enjoy the sense of urgency that I have when it comes to getting to where I need to be, but sometimes I just want to sit down and RELAX. I hate to rush off, but I've got homework:)

High Time..

I believe that it is high time I write a list of goals for myself. Not the kind of goals that can be accomplished by the end of the week, but some long term goals. I hope to achieve them all, but I know how things go sometimes and that it might not be possible to check them all off my list, but I'll do my best.

10. Graduate with my Bachelor's Degree in English.
This one might seem obvious, but it seems like the closer I get to the end, the harder things get. Right now I am struggling through my classes and I sometimes question if I'll actually graduate or not. I just hope the last 5 years of my life haven't been a waste education wise just because I can't get my shit together and pass German.

9. Either get my Master's Degree or go to Law School
I'm leaning more towards my Master's right now, but I would still love to go to Law School. I guess we'll see which one I decide to do (as long as I complete number 10 on this list).

8. Become debt free.
I actually plan to start on this one this summer. I have many credit cards with high limits that I would like to pay off in the next 2 years. I honestly think I can do this, but only if I don't acquire any more debt. I have decided not to have a car payment until I have paid off all of my credit cards (I don't really count student loans as debt since they're on a time schedule to be paid off).

7. Travel to Europe.
Nicole and I are working on this one. We are planning on going to Europe next Spring. I am very excited! The only problem is saving for it!

6. Get Darren to go on a trip outside the continental United States.
I have already said that I WILL NOT spend our honeymoon in the States. I figure I can spend 3 days in a car to drive to a port so we can take a cruise. I have yet to decide where I want to go, but know that it will be someplace WARM!

5. Save as many animals as I possibly can.
And I don't mean by adopting them all myself. I'm thinking more about finding homes for animals that would otherwise be overlooked. It is my personal belief that people create their own situations, animals (pets) cannot help being born into a world where they may or may not be wanted.

4. Build a house for Habitat for Humanity.
It's just something I've always wanted to do. Maybe I'll do the "Spring Break On" thing.

3. Travel the entire 48 connected States ( I want to go to Alaska and Hawaii at some point too).
Since beginning to date Darren, I have checked many more States off my list, but I'm still very far from having been to all 48.

2. Go deep sea fishing.
Just something else I've always wanted to do. How cool would this be??

1. Make enough money during my life to retire at a decent age so that I can do EVERYTHING.
Everything includes: travel the world, go deep sea fishing, swim with the dolphins, go whale watching, fly a plane, go all the places everyone says I shouldn't (middle eastern countries, china, etc.), climb Mount Everest, build my own home, ride an elephant in the wild, and much much more. Add to this becoming a Storm Chaser with Nicole. I also want to go sky diving and scuba diving. I would also like to touch a tiger (just not the one at the KC Zoo that killed its mate).

I can only assume that this list will grow as I complete things or decide that I can't actually do them. Hopefully I can have some of these checked off in the next few years.

hell and back

Today I had to go to the grocery store and since the Dillon's by our house is closed (it is being turned into a Price Chopper), I braved Wal-Mart. I hate Wal-Mart anytime, but today had to be my worst experience ever. I think that every white trash or non-English speaking person or housewife was in the Olathe Wal-Mart today. I couldn't get within 10 feet of the yogurt, which I really needed (for the dog) and when I tried to go down the aisle with all the baking stuff, every single person in Wal-Mart was there too. I thank God everyday that I am too lazy to attain my license to conceal and carry, because I certainly would have used it today. You would have heard about me on the news, "KSU Senior Goes Down in a Blaze of Fire in Olathe Wal-Mart" or something like that. I'm sure KCTV 5 would jazz it up a bit. My point is this: as much as I enjoy walking around Target, I would never associate that type of calm relaxation with Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart has to have some sort of hidden magnet to attract white trash/poor/non English speaking/ people. (At this point feel free to call me racist. I'm not, I just tell it like it is and it is true that many non-Enlish speaking people shop at Wal-Mart.)Luckily for myself and those who know me, I try to limit my interaction with Wal-Mart to less than once a month.

on bullshit

Last night Nicole and I decided to have a nice evening out. Would you like to know what that nice evening out might end up costing me? $125 (not including the $95 I spent at the Gap or the $40 I spent on dinner and drinks). You might be asking yourself why. Because I lost my keys. Mind you, I wasn't even drunk, they must have fallen out of my pocket or something. I call bullshit on this. Mostly because I am smart enough to know that it doesn't cost $125 to make a car key, even if you do have to program it. I miss the old days when the cost of making a car key was a dollar at the hardware store. What a rip off...and total bullshit!

top movies

In honor of my top books blog, I thought I'd do one for my favorite movies. Most of them aren't anything special, they're just some of my favorites.

15. Milo and Otis
A feel good movie made by the Japanese. Milo and Otis, cat and dog, go on an adventure together. I loved this movie when I was little.

14. Charlotte's Web (cartoon and animated version)
If you didn't cry the first time you saw this one, you have no soul. My favorite part is when Templeton sings about the 'veritable feast' he finds at the county fair.

13. Schindler's List
Based on the true story of Oskar Schindler. He gave everything he had to save 1100 Jews from Hitler's clutches. I like to watch this one when I feel like my life sucks. It puts things in perspective.

12. Little Miss Sunshine
Holy crap! I laughed so hard I cried while watching this movie. The highlight is the end when Olive dances to Rick James song, "Super Freak".

11. The Fugitive
Not gonna lie, when I was about 8 this was my all time favorite movie. When other kids were watching cartoons, I was watching Harrison Ford track down the One Armed Man.

10. Walk the Line
It doesn't matter how many times I've seen this movie, I watch it every chance I get...even if it's on 3 times a day.

9. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Many people complain about having to spend the holidays with family. Nobody makes a bad situation funny like Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid. It almost makes me wish I had a cousin Eddie of my own to brighten up the holidays.

8. National Treasure
Action packed adventure movie. I'm not really a fan of Nicholas Cage, but he makes it work here. And the technology is amazing!

7. Urban Cowboy
One of the best movies of the 1980s. I love it. Boy meets girl, they get married. They get into a fight, she moves out. Both have affairs. Boy kicks girl's boyfriend's ass. Boy and girl are back together at the end. End scene, boy and girl walk away together while "Looking for love in all the wrong places" plays. What could be better than that??

6. St. Elmo's Fire
Another great movie from the 1980s. When I was in high school I could only dream that my college experience (or after college experience, I guess) would be like the one portrayed in this movie. Some how I doubt I'll have a mural of Billy Idol painted on a pink wall or sleep with my boyfriend's best friend or fall in love with some chick that I have no chance with...but who knows?

5. Stand By Me
A coming of age flick from the 1980s. What is there to say about this movie? I think this quote sums it up better than I ever could: "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" Fantastic!

4. School of Rock
For those about to rock, we salute you. I think the reason I like this movie so much is because it introduced kids to GOOD music. Not the crap that is considered music today.

3. Pure Country
George Strait + Love Story + George singing a song to his love interest at the end + George in tight jeans= great movie.

2. Dirty Dancing
One of the best dance scenes of any movie I've ever seen. Plus a kick ass sound track. And Patrick Swayze, what more could you ask for?

1. Peter Pan
This was my favorite Disney movie when I was a little girl. I still enjoy watching it to this day...although now I pick up on a lot more than I did then. Sexism..Racism..many other 'isms'...

What a joyous day it would be to sit down and watch all of my favorite movies (because this is just a short list)! I'll put it on the ever growing "TO DO" list.

Dory

My mom called this morning. Dory had to be put to sleep because her kidneys were failing. The doctor said that it happens sometimes, there was nothing that could be done. I really wanted to go be with her, but she was in a lot of pain so my mom told the doctor to go ahead. The worst part is that my mom couldn't get off work to go be with her so she was alone. As if the situation wasn't bad enough.

sad things...

Aren't you lucky, today is a twofer in the blog department. Earlier today my mom called me and said that our cat Dory was acting strange so she was taking her to the vet. She called me this afternoon to tell me what the doctor said. Things aren't looking good. Her tongue is brown and her throat is bloody. She can't move her back end; they're running tests to find out what is wrong with her. My mom is afraid they'll have to put her to sleep tomorrow. My mom feels really guilty even though it isn't her fault; Dory had a mind of her own and if she wanted to go outside, you weren't keeping her from doing it.
This news today prompted me to reflect on all of my childhood pets. We have always been a family with tons of pets...any kind of pet..hamsters..guinea pigs...dogs and cats. Even today at age 22 it is hard for me not to take home any pet that crosses my path. Some of my fondest and earliest memories include pets. In the 5 years that we have had Dory, I have collected many fond memories of her and I hope to have many more!

my top 10 books

Have you ever read a book that was so profound/great/awesome/moving that you just had to go out and tell someone about it? Nicole and I often talk about the books we are reading or have read, so I figured I'd make a post about my top 10 books. These are honestly 10 of the best books I've ever read.

10. Whale Talk by Chris Crutcher
Andrea introduced me to this little gem and I've loved it since the first time I finished it. I'm actually reading it for my Lit for Adolescents class in a few weeks. It's about a boy named T.J. who believes in standing up for those who may not be able to stand up for themselves, namely a little black girl named Heidi who is verbally abused by her jackass stepfather. Fantastic read for all ages.

9. Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
For anyone who has ever seen an episode of Sex and the City, you should know that Candace Bushnell ripped off Jacqueline Susann. This is the original story of 3 friends who are trying to make it big, but are thwarted at every turn by drugs, men, and backstabbers. Once you read this book you will notice references to it in many 'mainstream' books that are on the shelves these days.

8. The World According to Garp by John Irving
Wow. I don't know why, but I seriously love this book. After reading it I knew that my life wasn't nearly as fucked up as I thought it was. It is happy, sad, and fucked up all at the same time. The movie isn't nearly as good as the book, mostly because Glenn Close plays Jenny Fields and who ever thought that was a good idea should go back and read the book again.

7. Lamb by Christopher Moore
No, not THAT Christopher Moore. This book is so unique that it had to go on my list. It is the story of Jesus (mostly the years that aren't chronicled in the Bible) told by his best friend, Biff. I know its fiction, but it really made me question my religious view. Definitely a read for those who think they know everything about Jesus and his life. It'll make you wonder...

6. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
One of the best adventure stories of all time. I can't really tell you too much because it might give something away, but just know that the end of the book will leave you wondering what the hell the truth is. Yep, it's one of those that leaves more questions unanswered than answered. Enjoy!

5. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
I don't know what makes it so great, but after 500 pages I wanted more. I wanted to know what happened to Francie and if Katie finally lived happily ever after. It makes me wonder why it isn't taught in schools...perhaps because it's 500 pages and today's youth can barely get past a 100 page magazine.

4. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
My friend Adam turned me on to this book. He was right, it is great. Once again, it's hard to tell you what it's about, but know that it is Sci-Fi. I know what you're thinking and I'm not a fan of Sci-Fi either, but this book is genuinely GOOD. Check it out some rainy afternoon and I bet you won't be able to put it down.

3. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
What list is complete without this book? None. Seriously, if you haven't read this book by now allow me to come kick your ass. Once again, a book about standing up for those who can't defend themselves. Definitely hypocrisy at its best. It gives readers an inside look at the South during the Depression; nothing is sugar coated. It is brutally honest in it's portrayal of racism in the 'Deep South'. The only downside to the book? That Harper Lee didn't write anything else.

2. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
I remember being a little girl and asking my mom what this book was about. Her response prompted me to say "that's stupid". It wasn't until years later that I fell in love with one of my all time favorite books. One of the most beautifully written books I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. And for once, the made for TV movie actually does some sort of justice to McMurtry's graceful and vibrant writing.

1. Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson
This is not the kind of book that those familiar with James Patterson would expect from him. However, I think it is one of his best. I have never cried so much or so often. The only book that even compares on the 'sad' level is Where the Red Fern Grows. Gut wrenching sadness that leaves you cheering at the end.

These books are in no particular order and it took me awhile to narrow my list down to 10. Perhaps I'll do another list sometime, who knows. For now, Happy Reading!!

you know what really grinds my gears?

On occasion I like to write a blog about things that really annoy me. It helps me get things off my chest without feeling like I'm constantly complaining. I'll narrow this list down to 10 things in no particular order. Something tells me there will be a theme...

10. Living with children.
They aren't really children, but something tells me that a classroom of preschoolers have a higher maturity level than my roommates. Seriously folks, lets act like we're in our early twenties and not five.

9. People who bitch about all the things they have to do and then piss all their time away.
Nothing is more irritating that having to listen to people who bitch about all the things they have to do, but everytime you see them they're fucking off. Do not complain to me about the amount of homework you have to do when you sleep all day or have people over or stay up all night or spend your weekends getting drunk.

8. People who try to make me feel bad about my chosen major.
Just so you know, I rather enjoy being an English major. If I wanted to do something associated with math and/or science, I would. I would have a hell of a lot more respect for you if you could actually pass your classes on the first try. I know you think they're really difficult and that it is normal for people to take certain classes multiple times, but I know plenty of people who take classes only once.

7. People who complain about not having any money and then ask if you want to go shopping.
Don't tell me how little money you have and then ask me to go shopping with you.

6. People who spend money on things that they shouldn't be.
What is wrong with paying bills before going out and blowing money on 'fun' things? I would think taking care of business would be at the top of the priority list. Apparently I am wrong.

5. Teachers who want something specific, but don't tell you that before you hand in your assignment.
I wish teachers would be very specific when they want you to do something a certain way. Don't tell me to have more detail and then give me 5 minutes to write a response. I also think it is the common belief among professors and teachers that students are only enrolled in one class. This is false, I am in more than one class so it really sucks when you assign 200 pages of reading for the next class period.

4. Being cold.
There isn't much to expand on here, but I hate everything about the winter. Snow/sleet/ice/wind. You name it, I probably hate it.

3. People who can't drive.
This one really gets me. In general, people drive like shit and I don't know why. Actually, I do. It is because the US gives away driver's licenses like they're candy. You don't really have to earn them, you basically just pay for them. And when you get in trouble for driving like shit, money gets you out of said trouble. I also hate drivers who scrape off just enough ice/snow from their windshield to see out the front. Funny thing about cars, they have more than one window for a reason YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO SEE IN ALL DIRECTIONS. CLEANING OFF A TINY SQUARE ON THE WINDSHIELD IS NOT ENOUGH!! Something else that is very annoying: people who drive erratically and/or fast when the roads are bad. You make it very unsafe for people like myself who drive cautiously.

2. People who have pets and then don't take care of them.
Pets are pets for a reason, they need you to take care of them. What is so hard about this?? If you can hardly take care of yourself, you probably shouldn't have a pet.

1. Stupid people.
I know this is very general, but it is how I feel most of the time. I feel like I am surrounded by people who do not use their brains, which I probably am.

I really do feel a lot better. Now I can get back to the homework that I have been putting off. Thanks for reading and I promise not every post will be like this. I'll do my best to limit my rants to no more than once a week:)